Spouse Who Works In Risk Environments Pillows

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"There are 206 bones in your body...How would you like one more?"

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

The wedding.

"Give me a sporting chance, love ... pass me my wicket-keeping gloves."

"I liked you better as my first husband."

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

'What - you don't want to marry me after you became rich and famous? Oh, great! Now I've got to think about a new pension plan!'

I'm going to give each of my girlfriends a bottle of this wine for valentine's day. A port in every sweetheart!

'I prefer to hire married men to bachelors. Married men don't get upset when I shout at them.'

"Your husband is fooling around."

"Ah, here you are... I see you made the mistake of tasting your own cooking."

"This is Arthur, my first husband."

Billboard / Sue wil you marry me? -Bob / And what about grandkids? - Bob's Mom.

'Those are the family I'd have if I believed in a Work/Life balance.'

Wedding Tweets

"So how was the Edgar Willoughby Classic?"

"They have this arrangement. He earns the money and she takes care of the house."

'Do you promise to have and to hold her, longer than the PS3?'

'My wife is out of town. That's the diet cam.'

'Woo-hoo!This is the happiest day of my life!!'

'Now, don't you get judgmental with ME!'

"Heirloom or not, I've got to unhang it because my wife became a vegetarian."

"Your phone just texted me. You didn't lose it, it's hiding from you. It refuses to go out in public with you until you shave, get a haircut and iron your clothes."

"It's right when you think it's done, but it's not done, that it's most dangerous."

'I think the other wives should take turns in doing this!'

"Where have you been? Your smart phone came home 20 minutes ago."

"My husband fell into the bear enclosure! I threw my phone down there. I think it bought him some time."