Spousal Sparring Partner Gifts

"Boiled water. And you said I couldn't do it."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

The Perfect Foil

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

When the Dalmatian ran away, he was spotted two blocks from home.

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

"Never marry an engineer."

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

"The groceries are in the car."

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

It's January. Do you know where your children are?

Musical Fight

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

Old Love

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"I can see future generations swallowing the 'talking serpent' part, but we need a more plausible forbidden fruit."

"The beanbag chair, … do we take it out of the furniture budget or the art budget?"

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

Department de Philosophie

"Not another gooseberry bush!"

THE GOLDMANS HIRE A MEDIA CONSULTANT.

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

"O.K., that's settled. Larry gets the car and Barbara gets the parking space."

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

"Give me a sporting chance, love ... pass me my wicket-keeping gloves."

Trial by Viagra

'Space is not an issue: I'll just dig out a few more rooms...'

“We need eggs, milk, bread... Oh, and get an extra-large tub of outrage. We’re running low.”