Spot Appreciator Pillows

"I'm pretty sure we're of no relation."

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

The discovery of gravity is put on hold after a chance encounter by William Tell and Isaac Newton.

'What if I promise not to look?'

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

"I like to stay on top of things."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

Late-Onset Epiphany

Tortured Plank

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

'One day I just decided, screw it - I'm as rich as hell and I'm not going to fake it anymore.'

Ah-Choo!

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

"Your tech gadgets will become obsolete, but the nice thing about money is it never goes out of style."

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

'It's so beautiful, yet fragile. Safe, yet vulnerable. More precious than any star in the heavens.'

'How Sir Isaac Newton discovered swing bowling'

Think Positive!

Deep pockets on line two.

Monk growing flowers which look like his tonsure.

Deadpan Delivery.

"You definately have a musical ear"

'I liked being a millionaire before everyone became one.'

"The moment of peaceful ocean sounds has been brought to you by. . . !"

Standing ovation $5.

'That's not cologne. I was just rolling around in our huge cash reserves.'

'This Valentine's, Ted and I are just giving each other more space.'

A butler holds down a tennis net so his master can more easily jump over it to shake the hand of his opponent.

"Honey, I'm home."

"I understand you're some fancy pants lawyer."