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"And this little gizmo let me skip the game but record all the Superbowl commercials."

"The moment of peaceful ocean sounds has been brought to you by. . . !"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Gerald Ratner's return

Girl's weight issues.

F1 - Quit Smoking.

As Seen Watching TV

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

"You can whip out one helluva sonnet, Shakespeare, bit for sales copy, this sucks."

This Space Available.

"We only invest in companies that still exist a year after running a Super Bowl ad."

'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

'Of course he's an actor. When was the last time you saw a kid enjoy something that was good for him?'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

Eat More Salted Nuts

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

"You want the bookkeeper? Let me put you through to our creative department."

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

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