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"And this little gizmo let me skip the game but record all the Superbowl commercials."

"The moment of peaceful ocean sounds has been brought to you by. . . !"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Gerald Ratner's return

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Girl's weight issues.

As Seen Watching TV

F1 - Quit Smoking.

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

"We only invest in companies that still exist a year after running a Super Bowl ad."

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

This Space Available.

'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

'Of course he's an actor. When was the last time you saw a kid enjoy something that was good for him?'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

Eat More Salted Nuts

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

"You want the bookkeeper? Let me put you through to our creative department."

NHS to encourage hospitals to advertise in a more friendly manner.

A businessman watches as a girl walks past carrying a balloon with his face on it.

'And here's old Elias T. Pendergast - a legend in the advertising game. He's the one who successfully marketed the Ass-Expander.'

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