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'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'Sure, generic drugs save money, but don't you miss the beauty and imagination of the classic brand names!'

It's all about the PR baby!

Please don't sit on my sign.

"Play the old Winston jingle."

"He wants you to dress up like Flo from the Progressive commercials or Flo from Mel's Diner? You know what? Never mind."

A businessman watches as a girl walks past carrying a balloon with his face on it.

If nobody had invented graphics

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Important Food Groups

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Gerald Ratner's return

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Eat Beef

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Honesty in retail

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'