Announcement Appreciator Pillows

Thank you, Thank you... One quick announcement - The owner of a large orange gourd - Please move your vehicle - You're parked on a loading zone.

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Surreal ale

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

"My kid could do that."

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

Sue Perkins

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

'I suggest you move onto halves...'

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

Heaven Has VIP

"The moment of peaceful ocean sounds has been brought to you by. . . !"

"Have you got it in beige?"

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

'Known in his youth as the 'Keister Bunny', due to the many atomic wedgies he received, Peter would become the greatest of all cottontails.'

"You definately have a musical ear"

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

Petition to ban petitions from outside this market.

Deadpan Delivery.

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'

'I'm worried Tom has a drinking problem.'

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

'I manage the old fashioned way. I just tell 'em: shut up and do as I say!'

"If this beer had a head it would hang it in shame."

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

A Drive-By Glutening