Announcement Enthusiast Pillows

I'm calling a press conference. Did you hear me? I've got an important announcement. HOJ. Other people hold press conferences and people pay attention! There will be snacks. I'm listening.

'And finally, I'm gay'

Campaign for Plain English

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National Everything Awareness Day

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Ruddy bloggers!

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

The Perfect Foil

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

The Love Psychologists

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

'I was just ringing to see if you'd got the email about my letter.'

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

Technological advances within the office.

Relationship Issues.

How to engage an audience

'He says he needs his own space.'

"We don't talk."

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

F1 - Quit Smoking.

"I've never seen a resume that's entirely made up of emojis. Let me take a few moments to decode it."