Advertisement Enthusiast Pillows

'Well, dear... you may be addicted to shopping when your dreams are getting interrupted by commercial spots...'

'They're offering a special deal. If we buy something they'll stop sending catalogs for 3 days.'

Ask your doctor if Hallucinogenix® is right for you!

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'

As Seen Watching TV

' I don't care if their ad says they stand behind every bed they sell, I want him out of here...'

"Test screening proves it. That is one hell of a dental floss commercial!"

"Hey! This soda is frozen solid!"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Roads with a view.

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Honesty in retail

Eat Beef

News for Sale

Gerald Ratner's return

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.