Announcement Listener Pillows

"Attention, Kmart employees."

Audio Books

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

Try me/try me/try me...

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Attention Span Man

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'Now that we've dispensed with minutes of our last meeting, I'd like to introduce the first item under 'new business'. I'm pregnant.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

Communication

"Sounds of the ocean upgrade...it's sounds of the antarctic icebergs cracking."

Science Applied to Art

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

Pallbearers sitting around radio: 'This just in! Tributes are pouring in for the legendary tenor Pavarotti, who passed away earlier today....'

'Sir, I was wondering if I could get an extension on my paper?'

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

Stork and baby

Announcement at teatime