Announcement Listener Gifts

"Attention, Kmart employees."

Audio Books

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

Try me/try me/try me...

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

Mozart's very good, but can't beat Rossini for sandbox activities.

Clive Anderson

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Attention Span Man

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

'Now that we've dispensed with minutes of our last meeting, I'd like to introduce the first item under 'new business'. I'm pregnant.'

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

Communication

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

Science Applied to Art

"Sounds of the ocean upgrade...it's sounds of the antarctic icebergs cracking."

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

Things can only get worse...

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

Stork and baby

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.