Sporty Knight Gifts

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'The knights are drawing closer'

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

Don Quichotte

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

Don Quilowatte

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

Despite some initial reservations, the knights were often grateful for Guinevere's presence at the Round Table.

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

Inside voice!

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

'Avoid the fat, chewy ones. They'll pull the fillings right out of your head!'

Knight Vision

"They sent their geeks! Drop your swords and grab your computers! It's a cyber attack!"

'Sire, they are starting to call you Edward the Confessor.'

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

"Do you know a good taxidermist?"

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

Poetry Knight

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'Can we postpone this? I'm out of lighter fluid.'

'All right, Lancelot — Have you got a woman in there?'

'This is a classic case of siege mentality.'

Sir Gawain Fitzwaugh, Rust in Peace

Nitrogen Emissions