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"I just reached 1000 jumps."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I AM at my usual position."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Putting Practice.

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

'With your 4-4-2 formation I don't think you'll see the end of this match.'

Zdeno Chara