Sports Video Superstar Gifts

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"That explains all the cavities."

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

STRIP Hambone: Computer addict

Staycation Photos

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

'True - There is no 'I' in team. But there is in 'I don't need my crummy team.'

George Best

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

The Marie Kondo landfill

The family tradition lives on: I won the Long Jump and the Triple Jump events...

Don't bug me about college! I'm doing all I can: good grades. Playing sports. Helped found Eco Club. What more can I possibly do? Acquire rich parents. Fast. College guide.

'No case law, but we did get 50,000 hits on Youtube.'

Sit ups.

'Getting old isn't so bad when you consider the only other alternative. . .'

"This seems like a good place to break, play a basketball game, them come back for the next session."

'I think our fans are excited for us. It just doesn't seem like it because of doing 'The Wave' they do 'The Still Water'.'

'Go out and win one to maintain your current lifestyles.'

Football today

"Should I practice my violin or my curve ball?"

Child chatting on cell phone at top of slide.

"Quickly! Call the hair stylist!"

'That's still blurry This might be a good time to show you your bill.'

'I hope you don't mind -- I pick up a few extra bucks from the webcam.'