Sports Trivia Master Pillows

'We may not agree on the stock market, but we're both Chicago fans.'

Herman Mankiewicz

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Historical memory is on life support.

Funky Facts: Football.

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

'And this is Allan...he's the brain in the family!'

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

I love being right.

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'I guess this marks the beginning of the prin-ting dynasty!'

"A game similar to baseball was first played in the Olympics in 1996." I didn't think "Jeapardy!" had any softball questions.

'There are facts,there are factoids, and there are just plain fun facts.'

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

'Which Louis am I again?'

"Well, I finally found God. ... God is really good at Trivial Pursuit."

'Remember that code we couldn't decipher for seven years? We deciphered it - but do we want to know everything there is to know about rainfall in eastern Peru?'

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

Pub Quiz

A scientist with Biology, Chemistry and Science Trivia certificates on his wall

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

"We're playing soccer, not football!"

'No! The bully in Tom Brown's Schooldays was called 'Flashman' not 'Paxman'.'

'If you look closely at the CAT scan, you can see a tiny area of normal brain activity. Otherwise, he's got nothing but a headful of useless sports statistics.'

Quiz Night: Questions on all subjects....

So your IQ is 176, Peel? - 'Yeah!' - 'That's higher than Einstein.' - 'Cool.' - 'Do something amazing.' - 'I don't know how.' -

'He's okay otherwise, but I get sick and tired of hearing about his lifetime batting average of .325.'

Mind versus matter.

Throwing the syringe.

E FAQ. I hate to say it, but you become a bit of a know-it-all when you're hanging out with those two.

"Johnson breaks record so obscure even nerds don't care."

"I'm working on a new way to lose a football game." "Never mind, I'm sure whatever it else, the Browns have already patented it."

'They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no no no.'

'I know you - you borrowed half a crown from me in 1958!'