Sports Strategy Master Gifts

'What's the odds on Cheltenham going ahead?'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

The Other Cooperstown

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

'Are you blind ref?'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'