Sports Safety Enthusiast Pillows

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

A football referee accidentally shoots his starting pistol in his pocket.

"My belief is that a concussion is just around the corner."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Ratminton

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"How should we divide the teams?"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

On the brink.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Gary turns 40.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

A day at the transgenic races