Sports Safety Enthusiast Gifts

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

A football referee accidentally shoots his starting pistol in his pocket.

"Son, I told you this would happen if you didn't wear a cup!"

"My belief is that a concussion is just around the corner."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Football Chameleon

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Monica Seles

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Gary turns 40.

On the brink.

"How should we divide the teams?"

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Baby on board.

A married couple share the same pole vault.

A day at the transgenic races

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."