Sports Safety Gifts

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

"No child of mine will ever be allowed to play football and risk concussions and other life-threatening injuries...!"

'Sorry, coach. We thought everyone had vaulted.'

'Lyle! You grabbed the wrong mouthpiece!'

The Dangers of Snooker.

The woodpeckers are just sitting there. That's the new concussion protocol.

And then you run it in for a touchdown. Concussion tent. 33,

Football League: Concussions R US.

"I'd feel more comfortable if you'd use diplomacy."

Hockey cheerleaders.

Football League - Concussions R Us.

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Football Fans

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Rage.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Church for sports worshipers.