Safety Enthusiast Pillows

"Look, I'm not saying it's going to be today. But someday - someday - you guys will be happy that you've taken along a lawyer."

"Honestly, Harry, I'll never tease you again for carrying around that elephant gun!"

'It's not that Ted was a bad guy, he was just all out of 5's.'

Banana Warning

Boss at board meeting looks at colleague wearing helmet, headphones and strapped-on pillows, saying: 'I think, perhaps, we need to come up with a new approach to risk management.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Just put those safety awards on the table.'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

Safety First.

Librarian Watches As Woman Climbs The Bookshelves

"Suspenders and a belt? You must be the guy from risk management."

Worker: 'QUICK, does anybody here know First Aid?!' / Worker: 'Yeah, him.'

Man putting up accident prevention sign falls off ladder.

"Maybe it would be easier if I just put a stake where it IS safe to dig!"

'Anyone that needs further proof can see Carl after the meeting.'

'Voila! ... Concussion-proof!'

Job Safety - Valves.

Work Safety - Ladders.

'Darn safety regulations!'

Man driving forklift is distracted by a pretty co-worker and accidentally runs into another colleague.

'If I was wearing my 'what'?!'

'It's okay, I'm wearing safety contact lenses.'

Health and Safety

Man selling Security Systems: 'If that's too expensive for you, perhaps I could interest you in a false sense of security.'

Life is about MANAGING risk, not not taking any.

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

'Maybe you should wear a helmet, in case, you know, my math is off.'

Taxicab security.

'Uh,uh,uh, you weren't lifting with your legs were you?!'

'They hate it when you carry the test tubes that way.'

'Will you stop placing these obstacles everywhere?...'

Worker: 'QUICK, does anybody here know CPR?!' / Worker: 'Yeah, him.'

An Accident Waiting To Happen.

"And finally, would you say your fear of crime has increased?"

Jeff tests the smoke alarms.