Sports Safety Advocate Pillows

"There's no way I would ever let my boys play football...it's just too dangerous....!"

'Sorry, coach. We thought everyone had vaulted.'

Brains on the field.

Football League: Concussions R US.

"I'd feel more comfortable if you'd use diplomacy."

Golf course

'Ref. He's hit me, surely that's against health and safety

"You mean I was cheering for a concussion?"

Game, set and match

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Boozing and Cruising

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'