Sports Repairs Gifts

'Well, the internal swing mechanism is shot. I can fix it, but it won't be cheap. If I were you, I'd just go back to the dugout and choose another bat.'

Jack of all trades

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Tool Box

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

The world's most unemployable family

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

No caption

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Lazy plumber.

Bob’s Museum

Computer operator welding machine.

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'