Sports Officiating Aficionados Gifts

I like the Jets...I guess

"Portrait of a Lady"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

Egyptian Football

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

The Harper Plays Cricket.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'