Sports Mischief Maker Pillows

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Newt sale

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Swimming Prankster

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Less expensive equivalent.

Occupational Hazards.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

Timpani for the devil

Mozart swimming.

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

Frankie the discount genie

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

The concert that never was. . .