Sports Media Critic Pillows

"Banning A-Rod for the entire season is tragic. However, banning him for the postseason might be a good omen."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Trial by Media

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Difference of Opinion

Meet the Enemy

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'There's nothing on.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

I think you're ace

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."