Sports Marketing Gifts

"We're adding to the 'home' and 'away' shirt ranges with our new 'alternate Tuesdays in March' option!"

"This is a disgrace! Don't you realize we're the only Fortune 500 company not to have a college football bowl game?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Apples for sale

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The MBA Draft

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Dressed for Success!

This Message Has No Content

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

CEO with SEO

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Lethal Presentation