Sports-loving Friend Gifts

Portuguese soccer divers.

Abraham sacrifices Isaac

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Saving a Heart

You were warned about mixed marriages.

The Other Cooperstown

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

'The grudge match.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

Harry Kewell

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

Baseball Angels

"Mr. October"

'You wobbled his knees! Hit him again! Hit him again!'

'Did you know golf is the healthiest sport you can play?'

'You're pregnant?'

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'

Rory McIlroy

'Elements' sports team

A woman in her underwear slam dunks hearts into a basketball hoop.

Using a javelin to remove a tooth.

Fish golfing.

"His coach's dog!"

Swing by won't you?

"What does George Soros say about the German back-four?"

'Hey, count me in!'

'And for the sports minded. . . there's the £100 trip up to my flat.'

"I've been playing fantasy football all night - I dreamt you were David Ginola-then David Beckham-then...."

"Are we just going to run suicides again all day?"

Carol simply couldn't relax knowing that at any moment five rowdy men might scream "FUMBLE!"

A Man's First Love

How the west was really won...