Sports Journalism Pillows

Tough day coach. What happened?...I think it's pretty obvious Frank...You can't win a ball game with that many turnovers!

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

Doping

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

Cricket Accidents.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

The Other Cooperstown

No Baseball

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Centaur Forward

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Football Crazy strip six

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

Olympic Climate