Sports Journalism Gifts

Tough day coach. What happened?...I think it's pretty obvious Frank...You can't win a ball game with that many turnovers!

Jourdan Rodrigue

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

Doping

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

Cricket Accidents.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Novak Djokovic

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

The Other Cooperstown

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

No Baseball

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

Football Crazy strip six

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Centaur Forward

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'