Sports Coverage Gifts

'At least, we proved our high moral standard - we didn't cry for our moms and we didn't bite the guest team.'

Golf on TV

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Make up your mind - it's me or football!!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Trial by Media

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'My feet are killing me.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Church for sports worshipers.

"Portrait of a Lady"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Bowled over again!

Golfing Boss

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Holiday time.