Sports Gadgets Pillows

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Hiding the electronics.

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"You've got computer-breath."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

"Careful! He knows computers."

Smartphone Sonogram

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

I can record our game. Big deal. Mine can get everyone's stats plus find sales on bats and gloves. Wow! It does everything! Teddy! Except catch the ball. Isn't there an app for that?

Deregulated Baseball

A Scotsman in a court wearing sports gear is hardly news.

"I hope that wish list you just sent to Santa wasn't too big." "Our server just crashed!"

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

Chasebook for Dogs

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'He had been like this since he broke his nose.'

"Of course we're still friends, but Eddie has the newest video game system....yours is three months old!"

Only used once

'Actually, I was hoping for oversized with a graphite shaft'

'O.K. lads, computer research shows this is the new winning plan to win the match.'

'The new technology allows us to monitor all the players performance levels like heart rate, acting ability, etc.'

"Control. Options. Command. I wish!"

The Poo-ber Autowalker

'Data Dude' magazine.

"Where can we get such a thing? We would lie on the couch all day and watch cartoons about cats."

"Really?"

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

People using mobile phones oblivious to the world around them.