Sports Enthusiasist Gifts

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Bowled over again!

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Go team!

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Football Chameleon

"I AM at my usual position."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Ratminton

350 Feet.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."