Sports Enthusiasist Gifts

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Go team!

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I AM at my usual position."

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

A day at the transgenic races