Sports Comedy Collector Gifts

Football players huddle and one has a really long name.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Banana Split...

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Filet minion

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"The Eggsorcist"

Turtle Hat

E-Baying @ The Moon

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Snowmobull

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

A trevor of trainspotters

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Whose the new guy?"

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.