Sports Chemistry Enthusiast Gifts

Lazy Rower.

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Personal conker trainer.

Sexual chemistry set

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Boomerang cow.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

Protoplasm

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware Of.

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."

Confusion in A Jar.

When Chelation Therapy goes wrong.

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

Laboratory- risk assessor

A man and a woman click together.

"It appears the A.C.S. has a lot of clout around here."

Great events in Chemistry...

Electrolyte Orchestra

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

'How's the new insomnia pill going?'

'It's both physical and chemical. She works in a lab.'

"This is where petrophysics leaves off, and petrochemistry steps in."

The Great Chemical Novel.

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

"Now, Chalmers, imagine you're a particle whizzing round the Hadron Collider..."

The Dangers of Unlicensed Science Teachers.

The Bacteria Bowl

'We geochemists did very well before there were geophysicists.'

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

'How Sir Isaac Newton discovered swing bowling'