Sports Banter Aficionado Prints

"Hiya Gil. Catch the game?"

"The coach said that you play like Ronaldo? Ha! You loser! He told me I play like Chloe Kelly!"

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Football heads...

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

Punishment for the kicker.

Team medic spraying deodorant

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'To protect their investments, many baseball owners are hiring bodyguards for their players.'

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

The Washington Arbitrators

"We must prepare for the threat of China laying claim to Raducanu."

Tour de France champ Octave Lapize

Football Boomerang.

Gotta babysit. Too bad! Tap tap. The worst part is the first! Subduing little monsters? Tap tap. No

'Oh great, who do you think's gonna have to clean that up.'

'I'm taking you off of chattering in the outfield.'

'He still can't manage to get into the box.'

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

Rugby player searches on line for 'front teeth'.

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

'Naw, I ain't athletic - it's just eye - hand coordination and the heft to hit the long ball.'

In addition to players, some major league umpires are suspected of using steroids.

Throwing the syringe.

'...You have a morbid fear of the ball.'

(Carl's Sports Bar) - 'Hockey Sucks!!' - Although Earl had made good on his dare, it would be weeks before he could eat solid food again.

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

The Breakfast of Cheaters

'Our team has gone undefeated since my players started wearing moral Blinders!'

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'