Sporting Scribe Gifts

A golfer and a tennis player

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

Man indignant at having caught no fish

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

"So basically, it's an autobiomeoirography!"

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

A writer goes sailing.

Mountaineering section

TV announcement: 'The Consumer Product Safety Commission today announced the recall of all E-Z Reclino-Mat chairs sold between ...'

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

The New York Sportswriters

"Arrr! Hooked it again!"

Marcus Rashford

Hi! You must be a basketball player,'cause Mom says she's on the rebound!

RX baseball hat

Daily News Headline Dept. An athlete who failed as a baseball pitcher, a tennis player and a ski jumper accidentally ran his car into a tree! No curve, no serve, no nerve, no swerve!

'My therapist plays with my mind.'

Writing a letter

'Careful with that shotgun, it could go off.' - 'Don't worry, I'm covering the trigger with my finger.'

Ice-Skating Disaster.

"Long ago men cursed and beat the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf."

Men working sign at golf hole

Rejected Olympic Sports

The Rake's Progress - Surrounded by artists and professors.

"I'm sure everyone in the restaurant is in awe of your bowling trophy, but, next time, leave it at home!"