Sporting Event Goer Gifts

Spectator interfering with a rugby match

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

A day at the races

All dressed up and no place to go

A man cheers

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Extra Long-jump

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Football player has head instead of ball.

"They'd sold out of #1's."

Iron Man Contest

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

'No, no, no...kick the ball into touch! The ball!'

A Not So Grand Slam.

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

'Last quarter, Jeremy, you dropped two passes. Could you tell our viewers how you plant to catch this pass?'

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

Football fans in corona times

He said nothing about being cremated before his remains were scattered on the pitch.

"It's the racket season again!"

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

Five minutes everybody.

"And the crowd goes wild!! In all the wrongs ways."

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

"Football concussion - one beer too many at the game, and I fell off my seat."