Sporting Events Enthusiast Gifts

'They're always moaning that they cant' tell which way my thumb is so I had this made.'

'These things always taste better at the ballpark.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Football Chameleon

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

Gary turns 40.

Ratminton

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"How should we divide the teams?"

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

A day at the transgenic races

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."