Sporting Comedy Lover Pillows

Snap!

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Pole Vault Rules

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'