Comedy Sports Lover Pillows

Shoe Toss

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Alternative fielding positions

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

The best goalie in the world!

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."