Spooky Stories Aficionado Gifts

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

Night of the Latkes

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Out To Lurch

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Zombies.

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

Marley had a little lamb

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'

"For drinks or dinner?"

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

Sir Conrad Murgatroyd

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

Happy New Ear!

'The tough part was finding a suitable donor. You know Igor - he means well, but he's never been all that picky.'

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

Transylvanian Snails.

Giant Headless Horseman

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

"I don't care if he did follow you home—you can't keep him!"

Trick or Treat. I got a very exclusive invitation to see the new horror movie -- it's a private screaming!

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

'Ah, I see a life filled with the usual cliches about black cats.'