Spontaneous Diners Pillows

'Surprise us.'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

Sushi Train Spotters

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"I'll have the chef."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"Yes, I'm still working on it."

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meal."

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

"I'll have what she's having when she decides what she's having."

Pre Opera Dinners

'Don't bother to leave a tip, I had one of your fish fingers.'

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

'Come on, make it snappy I haven't got all day,'

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

Toilet door. Table for one!

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

"Everything on the menu is locally sourced."

Lady playing with bread at the dinner table

'A sand wedge. A sand wedge, for crying out loud.'

"My therapist recommended this place. It's eclectic without being schizophrenic."

"The chef sends his compliments. He's really surprised that you actually ate it!"