Unexpected Dining Experiencer Pillows

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

"Is the MSG local?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

Executive Tacos

'You made me jump,'

Odd Spas

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"Start Sucking!"

'Waiter there is an aeroplane in my soup!'

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

Spaceman serving shrimp.

"Waiter! Waiter! There's no flies in my soup!"

Hand coming out of chandelier pulls cover off waiter's food.

"That! That's why I don't like Alfresco dining!"

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'We'll let you know in a few minutes. Right now, we're googling your chef.'

'I'll have a BLT sandwich -- hold the 'B'.'

'What's the special?'

"Actually, I recommend the lobster. . . because it's starting to spoil!"

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

Today's 'Are You Feelin' Lucky' special is all you can eat raw oysters.

'Still a culinary disaster area, but compared to five years ago, the service is much better.'

'Everything's off except the weak and the sick.'