Spontaneous Combustion Detective T-Shirts

The appointed time

Honest Vending

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Newton's Law and Order.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

'You will tell me if you have any doubts about my formulae, won't you?'

John Snow

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

La Tour 2007.

'Well,here's the answer to why your car has been running so rough in the mornings Mr.Tait...It's pregnant!'

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

Doctor getting ready to give lady an injection...

Think Zero Defects

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

Gene doping in sport.

Fire at the Bisto Factory

'Yes, it's full of chemicals.'

Yes, I do think second opinions can be worthwhile, but not from 'Evonica, All-Knowing Mystical Seer and Soothsayer'!

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

"It appears the pain is caused by your acupuncture treatments."

'She read the ingredients listed on the label.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'Let's see what the ol' ticker tape' says.'

'Double or nothing on the second opinion, Doc?'