Spoken Word Subverter Pillows

"I hate poems. They're boring and pretentious."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Dialogue

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"Hiya, sweetie! Don’t mind us..!" "We’re here to protect you from boys in girls restrooms..!" "What’s in the basket..?"

The Prostate Monologues

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

John Cooper Clarke

'Ah ha, just as I expected...BOOM!'

'I see you opened it yourself, but there'll still be a service charge.'

Frosty Had It Coming, See?

'Gay Squirrels!'

"I'm off carbs, dairy and fat. Basically I order a pizza and eat the box."

'In preparing for his big speech Thorton practices freezing mindlessly in front of a mirror.'

"He's growing up too fast. Instead of hearing a fairytale, he wants to know about rights in the workplace."

'In an effort to speed things up, you may leave out all of the 'uhs' and 'you knows'''

'She used a scroggy piraya to flench her jargonel.'

The Poetry Stylings of Rudy Park

"I've never written anything, but I think I have a good ear for dialogue."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

"Trying to retrieve words we can't think of is really the bond that holds us together, isn't it?"

Snow-A Thesaurus

"This next poem is called, 'Never Try to Milk a Bull.'"

Wedding Car Cans chase down a car.

Art Terminology

"Please, Mr. Herrkof is so formal. Just call me Lord and Master."

Santa, red in tooth and claw.

"I HATE public speaking! Whenever I'm in front of an audience, I freeze like a... Well, you get the picture."

'Hey, you'd better not be drawing me!'

'No, I DON'T want to make a side bet on the spelling test!'