Spoken Word Subverter Mugs

"I hate poems. They're boring and pretentious."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Dialogue

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Hiya, sweetie! Don’t mind us..!" "We’re here to protect you from boys in girls restrooms..!" "What’s in the basket..?"

The Prostate Monologues

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

Bio-Genetic Research Lab. When I ask about cloning all I get is double-talk.

John Cooper Clarke

'Ah ha, just as I expected...BOOM!'

Frosty Had It Coming, See?

'Gay Squirrels!'

'I see you opened it yourself, but there'll still be a service charge.'

"I'm off carbs, dairy and fat. Basically I order a pizza and eat the box."

"As you requested, 'A bottle of something cheap by which to get thoroughly hammered'."

'In preparing for his big speech Thorton practices freezing mindlessly in front of a mirror.'

"He's growing up too fast. Instead of hearing a fairytale, he wants to know about rights in the workplace."

The Poetry Stylings of Rudy Park

'In an effort to speed things up, you may leave out all of the 'uhs' and 'you knows'''

'She used a scroggy piraya to flench her jargonel.'

He's more into the spoken word stuff.

"I've never written anything, but I think I have a good ear for dialogue."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

"Trying to retrieve words we can't think of is really the bond that holds us together, isn't it?"

"This next poem is called, 'Never Try to Milk a Bull.'"

Snow-A Thesaurus

Wedding Car Cans chase down a car.

"Well, I ate half of it, and to be honest, I wasn’t 'lovin’ it.'"

"Please, Mr. Herrkof is so formal. Just call me Lord and Master."

'No, I DON'T want to make a side bet on the spelling test!'

Art Terminology

"I HATE public speaking! Whenever I'm in front of an audience, I freeze like a... Well, you get the picture."