Split Personality Humor Gifts

"I keep telling you, Hyde won't be joining us!"

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

Some scents are nonsense.

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

Doctor Jekyll as a child.

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

'I think you're mistaking me for my twin sister.'

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

Fauna Hybrids

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

"You look good in that."

"I'm not sure how to tell you this, Glenda, but you've been sitting on a golf ball for the last three times."

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

Piano tuner with an assistant.

"Let's face it, Diana. I'm not good enough for you, and vice versa."

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

"I'm sorry, Sparky... I don't think we're a good fit."

"Look, I'm very sorry Judy but I really feel I need a new porpoise in life."

'By this time next year you'll be with someone new. You'll tell her about today and laugh. You'll laugh that snorty little piggy laugh of yours. She'll throw you out too.'

Take The Guesswork Out Of Your Diagnoses!

Doctor Jekyll as a child.

"Separate checks as always, Dr Jekyll."

'When you said you were getting me a hybrid for transportation, I had envisioned something else.'

"I know there's plenty more fish in the sea, Arron, but your bait's too small to attract anything else."

'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde...Party of one.'

"Trust me, anyone who reads this 300,000 years from now will thank me."

Psst … How can you tell the twins apart? They smell identical!

"Then that lady next to me on the bus must be on her way to the hospital with my loose meat sandwich."

"You'll never eat all that. Your problem is your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

'...we're waiting for Mr. Hyde's character witness, Dr. Jekyll, to appear.'

"When will that woman get the message?? It's over!! I've left her!!"