Spiritual Teachers Pillows

'Psst! I just realised something... I'm hella bored.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Guru.

Bible Bloopers

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Noah's ark, many lions

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"Make me one with everything!"

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

Nun Binning the Devil

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

All we have in life is this moment...