Spiritual Philosopher Gifts

Yahweh/Your Way

Yogi back in 5.

"Besides those, Mr Moses, have you got any other collateral?"

You mean manna is a freebie?

"Have my bags been in my possession the whole time? What kind of question is that?!"

"You can bundle all your sins as long as you repented each of them."

"They're on a silent retreat."

Ed's ongoing spiritual journey of self-discovery has led him to yet another stint in prison.

"My favorite part was when your god sacrificed himself to himself to save humanity from himself."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"When I die I want to come back as a beautiful swan. And you?"

"He always said he was going to take it with him."

The Guru is away to negotiate movie rights for his best-selling book, 'Money Won't Make You Happy'."

"I'm getting so old my dead friends are going to wonder where I am."

'There is some rich guy trying to get in...what's our policy these days...'

Angel - Free counselling for agnostics

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

'He's a predestinarian.'

What if the meek don't want it?

Santa versus Christianity

'No way! Why should we? We're not going anywhere! We're staying right. . .Then again, when you put it that way. . .'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!