Spiritual Meme Enthusiast Gifts

Ghostwriting the Bible

Providing Healthcare For All

"OMG, LOL!"

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

'My upper body strength is fine but I'd been neglecting my legs.'

"If either of you know any cause or impediment why you should not be married, INCLUDING YouTube CLIPS, declare it now."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"T.G.I.F."

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." "Give me all the juicy details."

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

"In heaven there are no trees."

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

'You'll never live to regret it!'

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

"Not sure that's the graven image of Baal we were looking for."

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

Meditating cat. 'Hi! You have reached the 4th state of consciousness. We're not in right now...

Priest

'If we do meet again in the after-life, you don't know me, o.k.?'

'That's right. I took all your money and didn't teach you a darn thing -- enlightening, isn't it?'

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.

'Why am I here, nurse? I just wanted a replacement for my organ.'